Sick?? But you're a MOM!

                   


Only after you become a Mom, the endless list of truth about Motherhood slowly unfurls! No, you can't circumvent them, either you get to know them sooner or later, don't worry, you dont have to chase them, you'll be robustly hit by them! The latest truth that unravelled before me: Moms can't get sick!


You probably know this if you're a mom, er...if you don't, you'll know it very soon! And if you are the spouse to the mom, then you secretly know it!


How does a day look like when a stay-at-home or working mom falls sick? Its the usual business day, with the kids to look after, the same mess to clean (messier than the usual days) and the routine to be followed because that is survival. When the baby falls sick, I can go to any extent to bring her back to toes. When the husband falls sick, I can give my best to make him feel better too. But when I wake up with a sore throat just to be reminded that am catching that flu which the baby brought from school last week, I shove it behind my head saying, "I'm fine, there's nothing wrong, I'm not sick!". But ultimately,  when things get worse, I have to admit that I'm sick.


                                


Other days, I would happily barge into the bed with a book and soup and spend some time under the blanket and sleep sleep and sleep until the last virus evacuates my body! But that cannot happen when you're THE MOM. You need to repeat everything like any other day, infact much more than the normal days, "Don't jump", "Be Careful", "Finish your milk", "Don't scream", "Sleep", "Don't do this", "Will you please listen to amma atleast today?" and the tolerance (usually very low during such days) is scrutinized. The cheerful, naughty little one hardly understands that its the mom who is crankier than her.


Moms, of course, are good at melting away with the slightest love from the child. The moment the kid brings a picture book and sits next to you to read it for her, the heart melts and you've almost forgotten that you need rest! Nature works that way.

Am lucky that my husband pitches in when I have a bad health. It is only the time till he returns from work, that drives me crazy, making me pray with all devotion to give me the patience to drag the day 'cause it never feels good to lose temper with a toddler.


Things I learnt:

• If you feel sick, call for help! Husband, grandparents, uncles, aunts, friends, whoever! Don't neglect it as a non-emergency. You may not be bleeding to death, but, even a bad flu will not help you think straight. You're handling kids, the most delicate of all the things in the world.
• If you know anybody who's sick, please drop by with 1-2 meals, soup and medicines and take the kids. She'll be grateful to you all her life.
• And mommies getting help today, don't forget to make a note for yourself to thank everyone who made you feel better! Better to write them as reminders as the antibiotics are sure to ruin your memory! ;)

Its now your turn to tell me how you manage your day when you're sick. Who pitches in often to share the workload?





Images: Google

Emotionally Abusive-Are You?

                           

'Emotional abuse' might sound too big a word but are you sure you aren't practising it? To confirm that you aren't doing it, it is better to know what it is. Have you ever got irritated with your child and ignored them? Then, that's one of the simplest form of an emotional abuse, as you are passing the negative vibes and making the little soul feel neglected, though unintentionally!

Emotional abuse?

It may be verbal abuse, threatening, severe punishment, comparison, rejection, neglection and likewise.

Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuses do not have an immediate physical effect but a long term deletrious effect on one's character.

Here are some pointers for us, as parents, to know what emotional abuses are, for the sake of avoiding them.

Verbal abuse

Needless to say, this is the most common and a very offensive form of emotional abuse. Verbal assault, constant usage of bad words, blaming them or calling them bad names make an irrepairable damage to the child's personality. Be sure to taste your words before you spit them. It is meaningless to feel apologetic after having uttered a dozen bad words, as the little hearts are already shattered.
   
                              

Rejection or Neglection

A child may be neglected unintentionally. Ignoring a child while you are doing an important task is simply neglection. I know that its frustrating when you are constantly being disturbed when trying to focus on something important. You can either politely tell her that you'll join her in a few minutes or pause the task for a minute or two and keep the child engaged in some interesting activity and get back to work. If nothing helps, you can take the help of a family member or a friend to keep her engaged until you can take your time off. Rejection is hard on the children and zeros down their self esteem, and that's not what we want.

Avoiding a child to showcase your anger towards them is an intentional rejection. Like your peers or other adults in your life, a child doesn't understand that you are ignoring them because you are angry. By behaving as if she doesn't exist or not responding to her, you aren't putting your point across but leaving them confused, shattered and rejected.

                               

Severe punishments

It will take a lot of efforts to discipline a child but punishment is not the right key. Severe punishments that scare a child like locking the child in a room or beating them up are unacceptable and you are better off being counselled. Their tender hearts yearn for a loving environment. Punishments like saying NO to their favourite toy or an outing is itself a BIG punishment and hard to take, but work like wonders to discipline without any psychological effect.

Comparisons

Children hate comparisons as much as we, adults, do! Comparing a child with peers or siblings is the biggest blunder a parent can make. Surprisingly, it starts right from when and how a child manages to achieve his milestones. This not only creates a lot of pressure on the individual but also on the parents. The thoughts that "whatever I do, am not better than him/her" lead to depression and low self-esteem and will most often result in jealously/anger/frustration towards the person he/she is compared with.

                           

Manipulations

We preach but don't practice. Children notice that. We take so much effort to teach our kids the good values in life but its easier if they see you practising them. Be how you want them to be. Makes the job easier!
Live your life, love more and be happy....your child is watching!
               

                   

Adults or peers may be emotionally abusive. Please watch out for the above mentioned signs. Better to know them, to keep away from them. And by any chance, if you are abusive in any form, better to stop it immediately than to repent later.

15 Moments that remind me of my tag called 'MOM'

                           

Being a mom is an adventure! Each day is unique, challenging, fun and interesting. As a mom of a 2.5 year old daughter, I experience all the emotions in the world in a span of just 24 hours!! And there are those moments each and every day which make me realize that I have a tag called MOM, dated forever!

These are few of them:

1. It was more of a shock than a surprise when I found myself (someone who just needs the time and a little space to sleep deep, amidst any loud noise/people) waking up every now and then to check my few-hours old's breathing pattern. The story continues until now to check if everything is okay during her sleep. Believe me, people do change overnight!
2. When I hallucinate her cries even when she's happily giggling away or sleeping. That being said, you'll not be surprised if I say I assume any child's cry in the malls to be that of little A's.
3. When I'd pray that she falls asleep so I can have some ME time, but end up gazing at the cute bundle sleeping peacefully and wait impatiently for her to spring back to her toes.
4. When all my novels were replaced by newsletters from Babycenter.
5. When little A's day-to-day activities became the talk of the household.
6. When going out was not as easy as just getting myself ready! Any outing would involve packing an extra pair of clothes, an extra pair of shoes, innumerable finger foods to offer if she's in the mood to reject everything I show, an extra supply in case she drops it down or I drop them or somebody else does. Phew!
7. When I found apps like Nursery rhymes, Talking Tom/Pocoyo, Doodle, Read-along bedtime stories, ABCs and 123s slowly outnumbering my favourite phone apps.
8. Everytime I fill a form for my daughter and my name goes right under 'Mother's name'. Bliss!
9. When the saddest days of my life are those when my little one fusses to eat (almost everyday).
10. When a warm cuddle from a gleaming daughter is all it takes to keep my spirits high!
11. When I find myself repeatedly singing 'Old Mac Donald', 'The wheels on the bus' and 'If you're happy and you know it' over and over again. You have to believe me if I say I know what comes next in the nursery rhymes playlist. 
12. When shopping for her tops the list anytime.
13. When cleaning the mess is just another routine but repeated from dawn to dusk and again from dusk to dawn.
14. When I find myself going to any extent to keep her safe and sound. This also includes shooing spiders and walking in a dark corridor which I'd dare not do when alone.
15. Each time I do something to keep her happy and in turn derive happiness, it occurs to me that am a MOM, dated FOREVER! 

      

                                          

   

                           

Am sure all of you've had instances that you'd love to recall. Do share as comments below.